Beware The Naked Broad Wearing A Thumbtip

I usually won't click on links friends send me because I don't have a lot of time to waste, and what one person finds funny may not float my boat. So when a friend -- who has never seen me do magic -- sent me a magic oriented link, I figured what the hell. Big mistake.

When the site opened I found myself watching a video of a woman who looked like an ugly librarian. The second she pulled out a silk, I knew I was in trouble. It completely telegraphed everything that was going to happen right up to the climax.

For those of you who have already seen this, you can skip this description: the woman pushed the silk into her fist and instead of nonchalantly showing her hands empty proceeded to do what most magicians are taught NOT to do. She quickly shook her hands back and forth -- she looked spastic like she was having a fit -- and she had this strange smile and look on her face like she was amazed or just stepped out of Reefer Madness.

I covered my face, muttered, "Oh, no" and as she quite badly pulled the silk from her jacket pocket, I could see exactly where this was going. She made it vanish again, and then took off her jacket and blouse and reproduced the silk -- with both hands mind you -- from her bra. Then she took off the bra and vanished the silk again. This time she disrobed to her G-string and reproduced the silk from there. All along after each vanish she went into these strange spastic movements showing her hands empty. It was as if life as we knew it had just changed.

Finally she removed her G-string, and standing there stark naked made the silk vanish one last time. This time she bent forward and with both hands apparently removed the silk from one of her nether regions. I could not tell which one nor by then did I care.

Folks, is this what magic has evolved to -- a stripper's tool? The audience seemed somewhat puzzled as if the magic trick truly fooled them -- that was scary by itself -- and then -- they applauded wildly.

This reminds of a time a lady magician/stripper appeared in a special adults only magic show at a Magic Symposium in Manhattan. With a morbid sense of curiosity I went along with the guys and was only mildly amused and not aroused. I don't see the purpose. It's not that it goes against my religious beliefs; it simply goes against my beliefs as a magician.

Magic mixes well with mime, martial arts, juggling and other art forms. It does not mix well with strippers. If you receive the link from a friend -- no, I will not send it to you -- my advice is NOT to watch it. Maybe if we just ignore it, it will go away by itself. I don't know who the performer was, and I really don't care. She looked like an ugly librarian. Maybe she should pursue that livelihood instead. Then again, this might result in a lot of late library books. And if you happen to come across any used thumbtips for sale on eBay, let the buyer beware. You don't know where that thing has been.